An apology to my younger self

You're amazing, beautiful, smart, and perfect; and I am sorry that I made you feel otherwise. I am sorry that I let you listen to everyone and let you look and understand yourself from everyone else’s perspective rather than your own. Instead of surrounding you with love, I surrounded you with self-guilt and doubts. How could I have let that happen? It’s because I always wanted what I thought was best for you. I wanted you to shine brighter than the sun, but instead I was only hiding you in the shadow of it. I watched you crumble everyday just because you were different and didn’t have enough friends, or felt you didn’t fit into a similar crowd. I am sorry for setting the stakes so high, when all you had to do was be a child and smile.

I watched you sit in the corner of every classroom, feeling like a burden upon everyone else. I am so sorry, for all I did was hurt you instead of caring for you.

Eventually, that day came when I began to love your every imperfection. They all seemed perfect now. From all the stretch marks on your body, to the scars of a rough childhood, everything seemed to have a silver lining. I began to love you for who you are, and who you were bound to become. However, it took me some time, and I will always regret not helping you be your own sun, but I will always thank you, for you taught me how to be my own moon.

Author: Tasneem Khambatti

Editor: Jaenil Parekh

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