It sucks when you silently cry yourself to sleep. No one knows, and in that moment you feel so alone… that won’t change unless you open up to someone. But do you? Nope. Because you see that as a sign of being attention seeking, so you just lay there and silently cry without anyone to turn to. You get annoyed at people for not just knowing you need help, but then you remember that you’ve made sure they think you’re this bundle of joy who has a perfect life. You curse at yourself for doing so and then remember that it’s your coping mechanism. Hoping that if you pretend you’re all okay, you will be okay. But that’s clearly not how emotions work, so you continue crying as there’s nothing you can do to possibly make it better for yourself. So you face it. Your life is fu**ed up to a level where you don’t even feel like telling people because you have this fear that people will leave you the minute you let them see how broken you really are.
Author: Arushi Deshpande