Dear best friend,
It’s been a while, hasn’t it? More than a year in fact. You missed a lot. You wouldn’t believe the things that happened this year. Forest fires, a pandemic, Biden getting elected as the President of the United States (Oops). So yes, it was quite a wild ride but I didn’t have you to share it with.
I miss you. I miss you randomly laughing at something funny you did 3 years ago. I miss our midnight walks. I miss us dancing to Careless Whisper at 3am. Life just isn’t the same without you. It was really hard in the beginning, waking up and expecting a good morning text from you, only to realise you were gone. I rushed home excitedly the other day, to call you and tell you all about my day but all I got was a ringing line on the other end.
Memories of you are like a song; a song I just can’t forget. Like the song that plays when you first fall in love; the song you hum while reading your favourite book. It’s the song you dance to in the rain. It's happy, full of joy and peace. But it’s also the song that makes me cry when I am alone; When I realise that I’ll never hear your voice again.
They say it is easy to move on and that the pain will go away. They aren’t exactly wrong. The pain does go away, but it leaves you numb. It leaves you hurt and angry and confused. How could you go away so soon?
How dare you leave me and your life behind?
But I understand, you had to go. A lifetime of suffering just wasn’t worth it. I’m glad you aren’t in pain anymore; you didn’t deserve it.
As for me, I am fine. I am slowly moving on. Thinking about you does not hurt anymore .It just makes me smile. Remembering you makes me happy; it makes me think of how lucky I was to call you my best friend. I am sure you are looking at me from up there and judging half of my moronic decisions. But I also know –hope to say the very least, that you are my guardian angel. I know you wouldn’t want me to be miserable. “Stop being a baby, gorgeous,” you would say, hitting me with a pillow. So, I will be happy. I will live my life for you. Please don’t mind my dead friend jokes; it is just how I cope. The afterlife better be treating you well or I’ll have to have a word with God. So, goodbye my favourite human, or dead human. You enjoy your drinks by the beach, while I play our song and wait until we meet again. Don’t trouble the angels up there.