Hues of My Existence

These walls

They surround me

Inching closer and closer,

Till they have me trapped.

I try to push them away and escape

But they just get harder and push back.


They never stop getting closer

It's getting harder to breathe

I'm starting to get colder

My thoughts invaded by sheer anxiety.

And I try so hard to be perfect,

But I just let everyone down instead.


Nothing excites me anymore

All I see are imperfections

In life and myself

And now I'm in depression.

It consumes my mind in its entirety

It just clouds my vision

And now I can't see.


Every move feels like suicide,

Every breath feels like a waste,

Cutting doesn't solve my problems

It just turns my soul to lead.

I try to take it easy,

But it only makes me guilty

I don't know how much I can take.

I can't go back now

There's far too much at stake.


I try to break away.

But all I do is come back

Whiskey doesn't help

I only drink it to forget.

I don't know who I am,

But I'm still afraid to lose me

After all, I am my only friend

There's no one else to care for me.


I yell and I shout,

But nobody seems to hear me

All they see in me is confidence

But breaking down alone is a prayer; a plea; a cry.

A cry for help that everyone ignores

I can't say I blame them

You can't acknowledge what you don't know

Please just let me go

I'll be forever in your debt.


Author: Anonymous


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