I distinctly remember that as a child, my grandmother would ask me that if I were granted one wish, what I would ask for. I didn’t have an answer then, but I sort of know what I want now; It’s petty and you may think less of me. It’s short-sighted so you may call me unambitious and unfocused- but the truth is I would ask for someone who won’t stop loving me. Hence, while most of you would ask for a free ticket around the world, or a house facing Mumbai’s Sea Link in Bandra, I would only ask for love.
You could call me ‘wasted potential’ or ‘a brain in the drain’ but it’s been hard enough for me to wake up every morning and close my eyes every night knowing very well that no one has ever loved me.
I need a man in the rain who has suddenly realised that he’s always been in love with me. He’s wet, washed and wary and he’s looked everywhere for me. He’s run across town to the hospital I work at followed by the cafe we first held hands at. I want him to need me desperately and feel the need to find me and be there for me.
Honestly, I’m tired of being the person that you would turn to for help or for consolation for if I were everyone’s lamp post on a dreary night who’d be mine?
I’m done third wheeling and lying to your mom that we’re meeting for the second time this week.
I need someone who would take care of me. Someone who would hold my hand while crossing roads, prevent me from straying away in crowded places and caress my cheek as we fall asleep.
I sound needy. If someone were to write this to me, I would cringe. Believe me, I never meant to sound like everyone’s needy, over-emotional Mary Sue. Nonetheless, I guess I’m trying to say that I do realise my potential, my worth and the fact that I’m amazing as I am, but at the end of the day I may only need someone to picture me in a cool storyline before they fall asleep. Someone who would be the McDreamy to my Meredith or the Nico Kim to my Levi Schmitt.
Editor: Durva Shesh