I’m sorry

I’m sorry I don’t know how to express my feelings. I’m sorry I’m scared to lose you. I’m sorry I’m not good enough. I’m sorry I’m always confused about how to show love and be caring in the right way. I’m sorry if I say something wrong or suddenly start acting rude. I’m sorry I don’t know how to hold a conversation. I’m sorry you had to wait 6 whole months for me to improve just a little bit and behave like an actual person, not a spoiled brat who’s stubborn. And I am so f*cking sorry for making you wait, for torturing you for with the things I have done wrong. Honestly, I have realized that I was wrong and now I can feel the pain inside me physically. I keep feeling bad by always thinking, “Why am I never enough? What improvements do I need or what should I do differently? Honestly, anything will work, literally anything, because that thought of losing you is eating me alive. I just don’t know how to live knowing that I could’ve done more to be with you and I didn't. You are the one reason for my happiness, the one person who makes me smile, has been through my good and bad times, assured me while I was insecure. You are pretty much the only reason I wake up in the morning, and if I lose you, I don’t know what I will do or how I will live. I am too dependent on you and the pain is just stuck inside me. I can’t do anything. I don’t know how to get it out. I’m sorry. I hope you understand that I am trying my best to improve.

Author: Delisha Sethi

Editor: Khushi Luniya

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