Manipulation

Dear boyfriend,


I am sorry.


I wish that you had wanted that title of being my boyfriend enough to stay forever. I wish that you wanted me to always remain your girlfriend - or maybe more, but never less. Then again, not all wishes come true.


I want to apologize.


The first time I found out about her, you said that it was a mistake, a one-time slip up that you regretted so much. You said sorry so many times that day to make me believe you. And I did.


And then I saw her with you again. I shrugged it off. “They must’ve just stumbled into each other at the coffee place,” I remember saying to myself. I trusted you.


It was when I found out about her for the third time last month that you cried. You apologized to me, profusely. Seeing you in tears almost broke me. It was so hard to just forget about her and run into your arms.


But this time, it was different.


I am sorry.


I want to apologize.


I want to apologize to myself, profusely. I apologize for being so naïve and not realizing the pain and toxicity I put myself through. I apologize for not realizing my worth and self-respect before I plunged into this emotional torture, and I apologize for letting a poor excuse of a man ruin the lives of two wonderful women who lost themselves in his games.


Lastly, I want to apologize to myself for not knowing the difference between apologizing and manipulation.


Yours,

Your Ex-girlfriend.


Author: Riya Kadu

Editor: Nandini Patil


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