//Of hopes and failures

Trigger Warning: Mention of depression and death.


A person who needs to hear this:

I know that there are times when you doubt yourself.

Even at times when you say that you’re okay, I know that there’s so much more depth to your thoughts. But, at times, we hope and we fail. We fall but we rise again.

I know that you break down at times, that you silently cry when you tell me that you’re asleep, but you know what? That’s okay too. It's alright to have your heart broken once or twice but what isn’t okay, is to have broken relationships, one where the heart and mind randomly wander into the prisons of broken love.

I know that you’re tired, tired of apologising for every second of your life but stop apologising for who you are. If you aren’t going to accept yourself, no one else ever will.

Be done with expectations; of your own and others. Aspire but don’t dream. Dreams are what divert you to a land of fantasy. Remember that hope is uncertain but trust isn’t.

I know that you are not perfect. I even know that the late night crying sessions weren't enough to let out your anger; your thoughts about death never let you sleep in peace and you blamed it all on the people around you.

You never thought that you would be that person who would start crying out of nowhere. The curses were never enough- you were just so done with life for literally every second of your living breath.

Well, you always had the fear of death, you never escaped it. But when you said that you wanted to die, and leave in peace- that was when your fear escaped.

It’s okay to feel, it's good to let go at times. Take a day out for yourself, talk to that long lost friend, treat yourself to that chocolate cake. Fan-girl over Harry Styles, even if it goes out of style. Be that person who could still eat Biryani and Maggi in the middle of the night. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes you feel unique. Do what makes you you.

Break down your boundaries, never think about “log kya kahenge.” Just ask yourself, “Kya main apne liye sahi kar rahi hu? Kya main yeh karne se khush ho paungi?”.

Yearn to break free from everything that you’ve not wanted to do. It’s okay, be selfish. I know that you’ve never liked the idea of that, but it’s okay, your happiness is what matters the most.

So, in the end, I hope that you're free. Free from pain, grief, sadness and everything else that shouldn’t be a part of you.



A person who once struggled.

Writers: Amrita Pillai and Mahira Pathania

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