"Kavya, yaar! Meri jalebi pe rabri kyun daali?"
"Arjun, I'm sorry na. Waise, don't forget that you just messed up my breakfast this morning haan."
"As if you were going to have it anyway,'' said Arjun, who was pretty much an expert at predicting Kavya's actions.
Memories rushed past her as she reminisced about that day. The last day she had with him. It had been a year since everything had come to a standstill. Nothing was the same for her anymore.
Who knew that morning was the last time that she would ever see him? She didn't know that it would be the last time that he kissed her goodbye.
Well, why does every bond always hurt so much? They say it's because you can't hurt someone you don't love. But why does love often call for pain?
Why is it that everyone she loved slipped away from her within a matter of time? She had lost all hope now. With Arjun gone, she couldn't gather herself. She was in such a state of grief that she couldn't comply with it. Could life ever be the same for her after this?
"Kavya, kabhi socha hai ki tu mujhse pyaar kyu karti hain?"
"Because you're what makes me feel at home na."
"Uff, drama queen, what's this about people making you feel at home, Kavya?"
"But that's what it is, na Arjun. I can't spend a single day without you now. To me, home is where you are:)"
"Please, I can clearly see that you've been scrolling too much on instagram these days.
Waise, since when did we start being so emo?"
"Ever since I've been scared of losing you."
"And when did that happen? Since when is Kavya Mehta scared of anything?"
"Chodo na, it's fine."
"No, it isn't. What's wrong?"
"You won't ever leave me na?
"Of course I won't. Where did this come from? You know that I'm always here na."
"But that's what everyone says, Arjun."
"Trust me when I say this, I'm never leaving you, no matter what."
"And, you're still asking me why I love you? :)"
Kavya sat down at her desk. She opened the curtains to let the bright morning sunlight in. She gently stirred her coffee, trying her best to not let her mind wander. She placed her favourite books and picture frame beside her and put her much loved playlist on shuffle and sighed. After losing Arjun, she felt like she had lost herself somewhere. She couldn't make people smile anymore or write like she used to.
She almost broke down as she proceeded to write.
Her hands quivered as she wrote the lines that she thought she'd never use.
Remember how you would say that we'd last forever?
I believed that, I trusted you to never leave me, you know.
I miss you. I miss us. I'd do anything to get it back. At times, I kind of wish that I could've just frozen every moment that I spent with you. You want to know every little thing?
I can't move on. The truth? I still love you.
She sighed as she put down her pen and reached out for that ring he had given her.
"Paper rings and Fireflies", she nostalgically smiled as 'Yellow paper daisy' faintly played in the background.
Perhaps, she was falling in love again.
But this time, not with a person. She was falling in love with the past and the memories it carried.
Maybe, hope in love isn't that promising after all.
She never meant to love him so much, you know?
Maybe, falling in love and hoping that it would last 'forever' was a mistake.
Even after everything she'd been through, she only wished to have held onto those moments for a little while longer, even if it was for the very last time.
Author: Amrita Pillai