What happens when you have to start again? Nobody likes to begin again. But so many times, the essence of unpredictability in life throws us into situations where we have no choice but to start over.
He had heard about her before. He had even seen her pictures on Instagram once or twice before. He was also told that she was drop-dead gorgeous. But nothing compared to the sheer feeling of awe he felt when he saw her for the first time in the crowded banquet hall.
He noticed her dress first. A blood red, satin dress that fell right above her knees and hugged her curves perfectly. He noticed her brown hair, which fell over her shoulder in soft curls. But every coherent thought he was capable of having flew right out of his head when he saw her award-winning smile. That goddamned smile. The kind of smile that has your heart doing bizarre things. The kind of smile that releases a wave of butterflies in your stomach. The kind of smile that leaves you reeling. The smile that matched the warmth of her soft and carefree black eyes.
It was then he knew that he had to get to know her.
When he managed to get his bearings back, he gave her a tentative smile. It was enough to have her walking over to him. “Can I buy you a drink?” He cringed internally. This wasn’t the first thing he wanted to ask her. Heck, he wasn’t even drinking himself. Recovering quickly, he opened his mouth to amend his statement, but was beaten by her who responded with another question, and that dazzling smile. “What’s a handsome man like yourself doing here sitting all alone?”
They had danced. They had shared stories, experiences. They had made jokes. They had laughed like there was not another more glorious moment.
Now that he recalled, that was the first time he had fallen in love with her. And he had fallen in love with her uncountable times ever since. He fell for her when he saw her insecurities. He fell for her when he saw her working, with those brows furrowed cutely in concentration. He fell for her when he saw her sleeping peacefully in the mornings. He fell for her each time she laughed. He fell for her when she proposed, disregarding the unspoken tradition. He fell for her every day, fell for every realm of her existence.
He had created a life with her. And holding her hand as she spoke using borrowed air made him realise that he would have to start again. She had been diagnosed with cancer half a year ago, shattering the world they had built for themselves. Shattering every hope he had for their future. He wished he could go back to that moment 9 years ago, and relive their moments. He wished that he didn't have to let her go. He can’t. He couldn’t find the strength to say goodbye to her. He hated the unpredictability that came with life. He hated that he would have to begin again.
She had given him hope though. She wished that he would find love again. That he can begin a new life, without her, with nothing but only memories to get him by in the days when he missed her beyond endurance.
And now, with his fiancée of 6 months sitting opposite to him on the table as they ate dinner together, he realised that he had done it. He had begun again.
Author: Anika P Editor: Anushka Saxena