Sinners in Love

I remember those days; the good ol’ days. The golden days. When you would cradle me to your chest, when you held me so tight and whispered sweet nothings in my ear as your hands caressed my waist. How your eyes would brighten so beautifully when you would talk about music or your work or- or food! How you would laugh softly under your breath when I messed up a recipe that you seemed to know like the back of your hand. You would then hold my hands in yours, as you hugged me from behind and taught me how to correct my mistakes. I will admit, I never really paid much, or rather, any attention; your passionate face was just too distracting. Your long, deft fingers snatched my focus every time my eyes attempted to concentrate on what you were trying to teach me. Your sneaky hands under the table, your long legs fidgeting with mine, your bright smile, your exuberant and uninhibited laugh. How I wish those days would return, but alas, you and I are too far gone.

We are all sinners, are we not? That is my belief. I am a sinner for wanting you even when I know I shouldn’t.


I sin when I get jealous of the girls you like to roam the streets with, when envy takes over all sense of practicality I possess.


You sinned when you let your wrath dictate your words, when you let your pride come in between us. You sinned when you forgot your promise and when you broke your oath.

We both sinned when we forgot to listen, when I screamed my throat sore and so did you. We both sinned when we became furious, gluttonous. We both sinned when we forgot that we were mere mortals, that our all-encompassing love would one day die out, that the intoxicating nectar we held in our hearts for each other would turn into poison and rot us from the inside out. We drank too much of the sweet nectar that would never be ours forever. We both fell deep, so deep. Perhaps, today, you do not see me with shining, bright, lovey-dovey eyes; but neither do I. Perhaps, when you see me, your skin burns from our many unresolved issues. However, deep inside your heart, you call out to me, but so do I.

Today, we both hide under layers of lies and jealousy; deceptions and betrayals; anger and heartache. Our pride seemingly too high for either of us to do as our hearts wish. Still, neither of us misses the glances stolen in the dark; the light touches of our hands; the unspoken syllables are left hanging limply in the air.

You know, over the months, I have reached a conclusion. Of all the sins that were written down by people unknown in the books considered sacred even today, one is missing. The greatest sin of all. The worst sin to ever commit. The sin most deceptive of ‘em all.


Love.


Love is the sin I committed, the only one I believed in. They say ‘Love conquers all’, yet, in the end, it is love which hurts us more than anything ever

could. You and I never fell in love, my darling, you and I became sinners. We sinned till we could not.


And now we are alone once more. Though I believe there is hope for us no more, we will keep sinning; until the devil comes for us.


But until then, let’s love.


Author: Saptaparna Chakraborty


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