A few years ago, an incident occurred which changed one of my relationships forever. It also taught me an important lesson. Poorva and I had become friends over the brief period that we knew each other. We were in the same tuition classes but did not speak to each other initially. It was once during a test when we first spoke, she had helped me with it. When we got talking we realised that we had a lot in common; favourite T.V. shows, movies, restaurants, and football clubs. We understood each other’s jokes and bonded well.
Over time, our friendship had grown- we shared secrets and gossiped about other people. Text messages turned into phone calls over which we laughed, cried and complained about school and teachers. Everything went well for quite some time. Suddenly, I realised that Poorva and I had not been talking very much. She would reply to my messages after days. She had begun to ignore my phone calls and when I questioned her about it, she would come up with some or the other excuse. I believed her and continued to text her. Soon, it happened again, but this time I knew for certain that she was behaving weirdly. I thought she was sad about something that had happened to her, or she was upset with me over something that I had done. I tried checking in with her but she told me that she was busy and had a lot going on, so I believed her once again.
Now, the same sudden change in behaviour towards me occurred once again. Except this time, I knew what was going on. She had begun to ignore me, had attempted to cut me off. I realised that I was being ‘ghosted’. At first, I did not know what ghosting was. It was only after reading a web-article that I understood what it meant; it was an act by which someone could cut-off communication and contact with an individual abruptly, i.e., without any warning. I clearly understood why Poorva was ignoring my attempts to reach out to her.
Ghosting was painful. I had never experienced it before. It hurt even more because Poorva and I had been such close friends. We never shared the same bond again. Poorva made other friends, made time for them while she ignored me. This incident changed my life completely. Eventually, I overcame the pain and moved on.
This incident slowly made Poorva and I go back to only being classmates. It gave me a new perspective about relationships. I learnt that relationships change over time- some become stronger while some become weaker by the day and break. This incident made me stronger. It affected my relationships with a lot of people. I have learned to expect less and in turn forge happy and meaningful relationships with people while they last.
Authors: Vedant Vaswani and Hirday Lakhwani
Editor: Anika Priyaranjan