She can feel the massive grey walls closing in on her, like a torture chamber straight out of a movie. She struggles to move just one step forward, but her legs stay as firmly on the ground as the feelings of inadequacy in her brain. A dozen voices overlap as they whisper maliciously in her ears, battling each other in a devilish fight to see who can crush her spirit best. “Unworthy”, one hisses, voice as cold as the bathroom tiles she’s familiar with. “Worthless”, screams another with an ear-shattering pitch. The voices gather speed like the winds in a tornado, rising to decibels that make her head spin. She presses her fingers to her temples in a desperate bid to keep them out. Out where they cannot affect her. She tries in vain to visualize sunny gardens and world maps, beckoning to her with a sense of thrill and empty promises of a picturesque future. She feels like the ground has been pulled from underneath her feet as she slips into an incessant whirlpool of thoughts.
To her credit, she attempts to draw herself up, clutching at the hope that someone cares. But the voices only chant louder.
She finally collapses onto the ground, like a soldier weary from losing a long battle. The silence is sharp and cruel. She curls up on the ground, the very last bit of fight knocked out of her, too tired to hold on anymore.
Suddenly, the shrill note of the bell pierces through her slumber. She finds herself looking up from her desk in a daze, squinting at her teacher. “You have half an hour to write and submit a piece of your choice”, says the teacher.
She holds onto the paper like a lifeline. She grips the pen in her hand, and scribbles as if her life depends on it, the words frantically tumbling out, hands streaking across the page at lightning speed.
As she smooths out the final work with her trembling hands, her breath is shaky, she knows that she’s finally found her escape from the prison that had held her captive for so long.
September is Suicide Prevention Month.
If you are even contemplating this, please know that you matter, and that you are loved. 🤍
Suicide Prevention Helpline: 9820466726
Author ~ Ananya Chaure
Editor ~ Khushi Bansal