The Real Reason

“There has to be a reason, you can't simply be annoyed at me for something that happened four years ago. Get over yourself, and grow up. You've gone out of your way to ruin my life since we were 13. There has to be an explanation. I’m not dumb, and contrary to your opinions I do get affected by everything you say. Every time you laugh at me it's like someone’s slowly sticking another needle in my heart. But what you did today? Oh, it takes the cake. I hate you, I hate you so much.” She screams as they stand in the rain, drenched and shivering, but fuelled on by her wrath filled words.

It had been a long time coming, he knew that, he wasn't dumb. He could see the way with every word he would speak, she seemed to shrink into herself, growing smaller and smaller as if he was a bullet, slowly slicing through her armour, bit by bit. But how could he tell her? How could he tell her that he hated it when anyone else even looked her way; how could he tell her that he didn't hate her? He felt anything but hate for her. He loved how when she smiled you could see her chipped tooth from when he pushed her off the swing; he loved how she constantly laughed and just lit up the room with her smile. She was always smiling, always radiant. That is, except when she was around him.

Wasn’t love supposed to be easy? Wasn’t it supposed to be a fairy tale where everyone would have a happy ending? So why was it that whenever he was next to the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, was the time when she looked the saddest? It was some kind of sick irony.

He could just put himself out of his misery and tell her, but that would do no good. She needed someone who could love her like she deserved. The kind of burning passion where you tumble into it headfirst and come out better than ever, because you’re that perfect for each other. He couldn’t be that for her, the damage was too deep, She deserved bet-”

“SEE, YOU SEE THIS?” I ask as I furiously pace my best friend’s room. “This man ruins her entire life because he can't grow up and share his emotions in a better way than beating up every guy who touches her; and then he's rude to her when she just wants to talk to him, and all in all makes her life miserable? What is this, the second grade? The audacity he has to think that he can just tell her he loves her and suddenly everything will be alright. Oh yes, because months of trauma erased because he said the three magic words. And I must confess, as someone who loves romance, I’m so disappointed in him. He just thinks it's okay to go without communication and somehow everything will still be fine? We’re humans, our entire life is based around talking to people.” I stop pacing to take a sip of water, exhausted from my rant.

My best friend snorts as she eyes me from the bed, where she’s been sitting for the past 20 minutes just watching me run around like a hyperactive dog. She lifts one eyebrow at me as she asks, “He hasn’t texted you back yet, has he?”

Author: Adwita Chaure

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