Ever wondered how the human race came into existence? No, it wasn’t the Big Bang. It was by a lovers quarrel. Equally loud and destructive, I must comment.
“But Eve, you are the apple of my eye.”
“Okay, for the last time, I am not eating the apple Adam!”
“Neither am I! The Snake guide book clearly says that childbirth is painful.” complained Adam.
“Gosh, I pray the children aren’t scaredy cats like you” teased Eve.
“My son would be the bravest of them all!” defended Adam.
“You want a son? How cliche.”, said Eve while rolling her eyes.
“Okay first of all, history hasn’t even begun so nothing is cliche, and I just want a son, not because they are supposedly superior or anything. Just because I want a son.” clarified Adam in a rush.
“To be very honest, I don’t care what gender my child is. Non binary, transgender, any gender, any label or none, I’ll love them all equally.” said Eve.
“So would I. I can imagine going all protective when our children bring home their dates.” giggled Adam.
“And I’ll embarrass them with you! Oh I hope the rainbow up in the sky reminds them that everyone is equal. I can’t wait to hold their tiny baby hands and look into their eyes!” Eve exclaimed with glee. This was the first case of baby fever to ever happen on the face of Earth, I wish I could say the last as well. “You know, giving birth doesn’t sound that bad now. I’ll eat the apple.” decided Adam
“ No, no I can’t imagine you going through that pain. I’ll eat the apple.” interjected Eve.
“No I will” continued both of them in a never ending cycle.
Meanwhile in a place not too far away….
“JUST EAT THE GODDAMN APPLE!” screamed Satan.
“Seriously dude? You really want to spoil this cute scene.” sassed away God.
“This scene of yours has been going for the past day!” Satan replied, frustrated.
“Adam and Eve are the hottest couple on the World TV, save your comments.” said God.
“Umm Mr. Almighty, I think you are forgetting that they are the only humans and the only channel on the World TV.”, Satan stated flatly.
“Well then I guess you are stuck with Adam and Eve forever.”
And that was all that took for Satan to release mayhem.
He angrily stomped down the staircase of Upper Lands, tired of the third wheeling. When he saw them, he gave both of them a smack on their heads, “Okay listen up you two, I know you are talking about emotions and other disgusting stuff, but just split the apple in half. You humans are seriously lacking in the common sense department.”
And everyone, that's how we were born.
Author: Anubhi Srivastava
Editor: Sai Reddy