Translated to English
Life had been shitty for me back then. 500 years ago when I was a teen. Man, I was fucked up.
Before I forget to introduce myself, I am Shusha and I am from Planet ^%##@, or as you guys like to call Planet THRAE.
Moving on, as I was saying I was fucked up when I was a teen, typically how it always is. As you already might have noticed, our planets are poles opposite, but one thing we all have in common and will be common even in the farthest of the farthest planet is- the want to change oneself and be able to fit according to the norms that are created.
I was too, a victim of wanting to conform to these norms. I always felt everything was wrong with me. I was born wrong. Whenever I looked at my reflection, I cringed at the creature I was looking at. I avoided mirrors the way Elena avoided Damon at the beginning. I would be disgusted by myself. I would try so hard to change and to fit. My complexion, my gender, my sexuality, my body, my race- everything was an error.
I was born with a lighter complexion in a world when everyone was crazy behind a darker skin tone. Fairer skin tone nauseated people and everyone tried their best to remind me how disgusting I was whenever they had the chance. I was born slim and slender when being pudgy and chubby was the dream, though obesity was frowned upon. This did not make sense to me even as a boy. Shouldn't people aim to be healthy instead of trying to gain unnecessary fat?
I was born a male in a female-dominated world. I was covetous of my female classmates and later, colleagues. They were allowed to do everything I could only dream about. The promotion, taking late-night walks, hefty pay-checks; I could talk about it for days. But women had their fair share of problems too. They weren’t allowed to show emotion and cry. You are the pillar of the house was all they were taught.
I was attracted to the opposite gender when this attraction was considered a crime against nature. But how can I go against MY nature? I never asked for this. I remember going insane when I found out this. I tried so hard to deny this to do things that showed l was not heterosexual but my efforts were in vain. No man was able to get me hard. That was the time when I was sure that everything was wrong with me. That was one of the hardest times in my life. I would always wonder what if heterosexuality was made legal, wouldn't there be fewer test tubes involved in reproduction? Wasn't that a good thing?
In schools, people used to make fun of me for being good at sports. They used to mock and called me DREN which, mind you, was far from a compliment. It was equivalent to someone calling you a nerd on your planet. They were the same people who congratulated me for winning gold at the nationals. I was tall when people looked up to short models. I tried so many “tricks” to stop my growth but alas, who can go against one's gene. I tried my best to not play any sports that would aid the growth of my height when swimming and badminton were the only things I was good at. Stretching was strictly prohibited, I would not even stretch while yawning in the bed. Till this date, I yawn with hands on my lap.
But then as the years went by and with changes in the mindset of some people on my planet, I accepted who I was. I participated in the protests and rallies for serious issues like gender equality, white rights, mysexmyright and iwillhavesexwithwhoeveriwantyoufuckingmombojumbo. The last one was made up lol. “It is what it is” and “This is who I am” was what I said to all those retards who used to make me wanna pull my intestine out and choke them with it. I started to be myself with no filter.
When your planet, 100 years ago, was discovered and your ways of living and thinking were revealed, all I could think was, “Merlin's beard, why wasn’t I born here!? I would surely have led a happy life here.” My acceptance slowly turned into love. Now, whenever I look at the mirror, I no longer hate what I see or no longer I think, “Meh. It is what it is” crap. I would look at the mirror every chance I got. I started to love mirrors like Elena started to love Damon. Everything was right with me.
I just wanna submit to you these norms were created by us and these norms can be destroyed by us.
Though, did I really have to wait for another planet to tell me I was normal and right if not perfect and beautiful?
Did I have to wait 700 years to love myself?
Author: Khushi L
Editor: Aashi Pandey