To my younger self

Hi,

Well this is awkward. I’m you from the future, 2022 to be exact. I want to be blunt and confess to you, growing up is not all rainbows and unicorns. It genuinely sucks (surprise surprise, it was not high school that was killing me, it was my mental health).

I wish I could say that you’ll achieve all your aspirations and dreams, but you won’t. Most of your dreams will change and a few of your aspirations will lead to mistakes. You’ll be extremely harsh on yourself for those mistakes, people will forgive you; however you won’t forgive yourself. Those mistakes will haunt you for a long time and your view on life will change drastically. You’ll hate yourself; the way you behave and talk, the way you dress and look. You’ll loathe it so much that you’d avoid mirrors and people.

I wish I could say something that’ll make the journey easier, but there isn’t anything. You might be a soldier but the demons have an army. You’ll feel lonely, isolated and unprepared almost 99% of the time, but if I tell you everything I learnt, it’s that the darkness always fades out and in the end the light will emerge with no doubt. You just have to keep swimming, don't back down irrespective of how many times it feels like a task to get up from the bed and how tempting a blade looks.

I want to tell you that it’s completely valid to feel uncertain, that all those changes you are gonna experience are important for your individual growth. From an impulsive, stone hearted person, you’ll become a rational, warm hearted person. You’ll change, maybe for better or maybe for worse. Till date, I don’t know, but you need to embrace the changes that come instead of running away from them. I want to remind you, you are human. Humans make mistakes and need breaks. Go easy on yourself.


Love,

Future You (who has a semicolon on her wrist)


Author: Anubhi Srivastava

Editor: Anousha Ambar


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